人生何處不相逢

However, the child in you, who is in pain and crying out for the attention, love, and recognition it has missed for so long, may be tempted to take a kind of stranglehold on the partner; it wants to hold on at all costs in order to get for itself what it lacks. In this way, the child and the heart-crystal can end up on two opposing sides. What at first seemed to be very beautiful, turns into a destructive relationship where you are going to fight with each other and enter into a battle that nobody wants, but that happens anyway.

不過，這個內在小孩，它處於痛苦中，大聲呼喊著尋求關注，愛與認可，它已經被忽視如此長的時間，也許會忍不住在伴侶關係上採取一種束縛性的做法；它希望對自己所缺乏的事物不惜一切代價去持有。在這樣的情形中，這個小孩與心靈-水晶就可能在兩個對立面僵持不下。那些在一開始看似十分美麗的一切，轉而變成一種破壞性的關係，在這裡你們彼此之間即將發生戰爭，進入一個誰都不希望的戰場，但是它不論如何都會發生。

At the time the magic threatens to disappear, you may become desperate. At all costs, you want to cling to your partner, because you once felt a sense of absolute love with that person. You are going to fight to hold on to them, and your oldest pains, your emotions of anger, fear of abandonment, hatred even, can come into play. It is very difficult to let go of the other person even then, because you will be driven by a reminder of how good it was when all was in harmony.

在這個時候，這個魔法威脅著消失了，你也許變得絕望。不惜任何代價，你希望粘附著你的伴侶，因為你們曾經感到與對方一種真切的愛。為了持有它們，你即將開始一場戰鬥，你最古老的痛苦，你憤怒的情緒，被遺棄的恐懼，甚至是憎恨，全部浮現了出來。即時在那之後都很難放手對方，因為你被一種曾經兩個人在一起時所經歷的和諧美好而暗示著。

It is very important that, at this stage, you know how to let go. The moment you feel your relationship going into a downward spiral, and you are going to accuse and blame each other, is the time to step back. You can injure each other so badly, precisely because you have touched each other so deeply, and that pain is hard to heal.

在這個階段，非常重要的一點，你要明白如何放手。在這個時刻你感到自己的關係跌落到一種向下的螺旋，你們就要彼此互相指控和責怪，現在便是要後退一步的時候了。你們有可能會深深的傷害彼此，確切的說是因為你們如此深的觸及彼此，以至於這種痛苦很難治癒。

So dare to take a step back when you feel that you are spinning out of control, that you are being swept away by emotions that prevent you from approaching your partner with an open heart. You may sense a deep fear of being abandoned, or just the opposite: a fear of connecting so deeply to someone that you lose yourself in it. There can be other emotions such as anger or jealousy, but what is important is that you notice how the most intense emotions are more about you than about the relationship. The relationship triggered the emotions, but they themselves stem from deeper causes.

於是要敢於後退一步，當你感到自己就要失控的時候，因為你正被情緒牽著鼻子走而無法以一顆敞開的心去接近自己的伴侶。你也許感受到一種深深的被拋棄的恐懼感，或者剛好相反：一種對於如此深層的連接某人而有可能讓你在其中失去自我的恐懼感。這裡就有可能帶來另外的情緒，諸如憤怒或者嫉妒，但是重要的是你要注意到這種最強烈的情緒是如何更多的關於你自己，而不是彼此之間的關係。這種關係引發了這些情緒，但是它們本身卻由更深的成因而阻礙了。

What matters now is that you turn toward the hurt and neglected child within, who is the real cause of your emotional imbalance. Doing that is not the responsibility of your partner. And you, too, are not responsible for the inner child of your partner. Making someone else responsible for your pain and expecting them to heal it leads to enormous confusion in relationships.

現在重要的問題是你要轉向這個傷痛與被忽視的內在小孩，它才是導致你情緒不平衡的真正原因。做到這一點並非是你伴侶的責任。然而你自己，同樣也並非要為你伴侶的內在小孩而負責。讓其他某個人為你的痛苦負責，並期待著他們治癒它，卻導致了在關係中更多的混亂。

So, how can you see when the relationship, which was initially a loving bond, is going wrong and is getting unbalanced? Actually, there are clear signs, and one of the ways you can find out is by symbolically doing an exercise with your inner child.

所以，你要如何能夠明白，那時這個關係，它在最初曾經是一種愛的聯繫，卻發生錯誤變得失去平衡呢？事實上，這裡有著清晰的跡象，其中的一個方法能夠讓你理清頭緒的是，象徵性的與你內在小孩做一個練習。

Imagine you stand opposite your partner at this moment. Or take someone who is very important for you, if you currently have no partner, and allow your inner child to stand to your left. Simply imagine yourself as a child somewhere under the age of ten, and stand with that child to your left opposite your partner. Now see how the child responds to your beloved. Look at the first reaction of that child. Ask the child: “What attracted you to him or her? What did you find so irresistible? What touched your heart, what fascinated you?” And then you ask: “How do you feel now?”

想像一下此刻你站在自己伴侶的對面。或者換做是一個對你來說十分重要的人，如果你當前沒有伴侶的話，同時允許你的內在小孩站在你的左邊。單純的想像你自己作為一個孩子，某地不足十歲的小孩，與你左方的小孩並排面對著你的伴侶。現在看看這個孩子對你的伴侶做出何種反應。觀察那個小孩的第一反應。詢問這個小孩：“是什麼讓他/她吸引你？是什麼讓你覺得神魂顛倒？是什麼觸及了你的心，讓你著迷？”隨後你問道：“現在你感受如何呢？”

Did something happen to that original quality? Can the child still feel that love? In a healing relationship, that unique quality is still very much present. It feeds you still, warms you still, while at the same time your partner has gotten a more human form, with her or his own problems and ups and downs. However, something of that original magic is still there, and because of that magic, problems can be overcome. If you notice that the magic is absent, if your inner child actually feels unloved or treated unfairly, then there is something going on to which you need to pay attention. Take the time to discover this with your inner child.

對於那最初的特性有什麼事情發生了麼？這個小孩依舊能夠感受到那份愛麼？在一種治療關係中，那種獨特的品質依舊是非常突出的。它依舊在滋養著你，依舊溫暖著你，而且在同一時刻你的伴侶也已獲得一種更人性化的形式，帶著他/她自己的問題，有喜有悲。然而，那最初魔法的某樣東西依舊在那裡，因為那個魔法，問題能夠被解決。如果你注意到這個魔法並未出現，如果你內在的小孩確實感到不被愛或者沒有被公平的對待，那麼就存在著某樣事情需要獲得你的關注。請花些時間去發掘這個你內在的小孩。

To clarify the situation, let go of the image of the inner child, and now imagine that you stand before the partner you have chosen and look how the energy of giving and receiving flows between you. First, see what you give the other and feel it, and it does not have to be expressed in words, as long as you sense it. Look at what flows from you toward the other, and sense how you feel in this moment. Do you become more energetic because of this giving, or do you feel empty and exhausted? Is giving inspiring, or do you become depleted by it? Hold on to that first feeling.

為了澄清這種條件，鬆開這個內在小孩的畫面，現在想像你站在已經由自己所選擇的伴侶面前，看著在你們之間這股送出與接收的能量流動。首先，看著你向對方送出的能量並感受它，它並非需要以語言來形容，一直到你能夠感受到它。觀察從你朝向對方的流動，感受一下此刻你所獲得的感覺。因為這種給予是不是讓你變得更充沛，或者你感到空虛和疲憊？是給予帶來鼓舞，還是由於它讓你感到被耗盡？繼續感受那種最初的感覺。

After looking at what you give to the other, take a look at the reverse interaction. What do you receive from the other? Just rely on your first feeling as it comes to you. Does what you receive feel good? Does it make your heart more open? Do you feel happier about yourself as a result of what you receive? The essence of a healing relationship is that the other gives you something that creates joy in your heart.

在觀察你所給予給對方的之後，看一看這相反的交互作用。你有沒有從對方那裡接收到什麼呢？僅僅依賴於它帶給你的第一感受。你所接收的是不是感覺很好呢？它是不是讓你的心更加的開放？因為你所接收到的，你對自己是不是感到更加的開心？這樣一種治療關係的本質是，對方給予你的某樣東西在你的心中創造出喜悅。

Finally, there is another sign of a destructive relationship. From your solar plexus – a spot close to your stomach – sense a “cord” of energy that connects you with the other. If you are sensitive, maybe you can experience that cord. What you are looking for is the feeling that you need to possess the other; that you panic at the thought that the other will no longer be here; that something pulls on that cord. If you sense that, then that is essentially an energetic umbilical cord that connects you with the other, and gives you the feeling: “I need them, I cannot do without them!” That panicky feeling shows you do not operate independently, or at least you think you are not able to do without the other, and such a dependency can lead to a destructive relationship.

最終，這裡還有另外一種破壞性關係的跡象。來自于你的太陽神經叢脈輪---一個接近你胃部的地方---感受一種能量的“繩索”連接著你和對方。如果你很敏感，也許你能夠體驗到那種繩索。你所尋求的就是這樣一種需要擁有對方的感覺；你對這個想法的恐慌是對方不再在這裡；某樣東西在拉扯那條繩索。如果你能夠感覺到，那麼其本質上就是一種含有能量的臍帶，連接著你和對方，同時給你這樣的感覺：“我需要它們，沒有它們我不行！”那種恐慌的感覺展現的是你完全沒有獨立的操作，或者至少你認為自己沒有對方什麼都不能做，這樣的一種從屬感能夠導致一種破壞性的關係。

In a healing relationship, it is natural to miss each other if in one way or another you would be separated. It is natural to enjoy and therefore long for each other’s company. You may want the other, but you do not need the other. But in a destructive relationship, there is something malignant at work. There is a feeling that you cannot do or be without the other, that you are dependent upon them for your well-being – maybe your very life! – and this substantially weakens you. There is a deep fear of possible rejection by the other, and that makes you feel small and constricted, and the whole relationship no longer has that joyful spaciousness and freedom it had in the beginning.

在一種治療關係中，如果以某種方式你們需要被分開，思戀彼此是很自然的。享受在彼此長久分離之後的陪伴也是自然的。你可以想著對方，但是你並非一定需要對方。但是在一種破壞性的關係中，某樣惡性的事情在運作著。這裡有著一種感受，你無法或者不能沒有對方，為了你自己的幸福你很依賴他們--也許是你的生活！---而這實際上是讓你變得軟弱。這裡存在著一種可能被拋棄的深層恐懼，被對方，而這使得你感覺到渺小與受限制，同時整體的關係不再具有那種在開始的時候令人快樂的寬廣和自由。

Try to feel these things for yourself, calmly, in your own way. And do not be afraid to make room in the relationship to allow yourself to feel this kind of thing. Because once you find yourself in a negative spiral in a relationship, it is often necessary that the partners distance themselves from each other, physically and emotionally, in order to realize where they each stand. At such a time, it is often not useful to try to talk things out. It is necessary that your energy fields first become free from each other in order to gain sufficient space to come back to the center of your heart-crystal. Descend with your awareness inside that beautiful clear crystal that is your essence. Do not depend on others to experience that in you; it is there for you – always. It is the whisper of God you can hear in the silence.

嘗試為你自己感受這些事情，平靜的，以你自己的方式。而且不要擔心在關係之中騰出空間，允許你自己感受這樣的事情。因為一旦你發現自己處於一種關係的負面性漩渦中，通常需要伴侶們在彼此之間疏遠一點，肉體上和情緒上，為了弄清彼此所處的位置。在這樣一個時刻，通常來說把話都說出來並沒有幫助。在這裡需要的是你能量的領域首先從彼此之間獲得自由，為了獲得足夠的空間以回到你心靈-水晶的中心。下降你的覺察進入到那顆美麗的水晶，也就是你的本質之中。完全不需要依靠其他人去體驗在你之中的那份特質；它就在那裡等著你--永遠如此。這是神的細語，你能夠在靜寂之中聆聽到。

Feel then how, from this crystal, light rays shine onto the child in you that still suffers pain and who is still seeking outside itself for acceptance and love and security. Let your light rays fall on that child, and you can literally see that the crystal light seems to anchor itself by flowing deeper and deeper down through your belly and all the way down through your legs into the Earth.

隨後感受是怎樣的感覺，從這顆水晶中，光線閃耀在這個在你內在中依舊感到痛苦的小孩身上，它依舊在尋求外在的自我，為了被接納，被愛和安全。讓你的光線沐浴那個小孩，你完全能夠看到這股水晶之光看起來就像在錨定它自己，越來越深的流動下去，經過你的腹部，一路下降通過你的腿進入到地球。

This is your light, your unique Soul Light! You are here to experience this light in a body on Earth. Your particular light is unique, it is your Angel Light, and if you remain connected with it, then you attract healing relationships in your life. You have no “need” for another. And you also have no need to make another into something “perfect”: someone who finally sees you in the perspective you desire, and who unconditionally understands and embraces you in the way you want them to.

這是你的光芒，你獨一無二的靈魂之光！你來到這裡就是為了在地球上在一副身體中經驗這股光芒。你獨有的光芒是唯一的，它是你的天使之光，如果你保持與它的連接，隨後你會在自己的生活中吸引治療的關係。你對於對方沒有任何“需求”。你也沒有需要讓某人因某事而變得“完美”：某人最終在你意願的遠景中懂得了你，他/她無條件的理解並擁抱你，而你也同樣以這種方式為他們著想。

Unconditional acceptance and love is to be found only in your own heart – by and for yourself. Do not burden another with that duty. That absolute love is something between you and your Self. This you can only give to yourself, and when you do, you will become a fountain of love for others, because you then have become completely honest and true with yourself. You love yourself, including the dark part: that child in you who struggles sometimes and is tormented.

無條件的接納與愛即將在你自我的心靈中被尋找到---經由你自己。不要讓這份責任變成另外一個負擔。那份完全的愛是某件在你與自己之間的東西。這是只有你能夠給予自己的，當你做到，你將成為其他人愛的源泉，因為你隨後變得全然的誠實，真實的對待你自己。你愛自己，包括自我的陰暗面：那個小孩，在其中你有時候與它鬥爭並飽受折磨。

When you love yourself, it is easier for you to see the other person in a true perspective. You no longer have to take so personally the sometimes offensive or hurtful things that she or he says or does. Their actions and reactions belong to them, and it becomes easier to not respond too emotionally to it. The other person is no longer responsible for your soul’s salvation – you are. You are the master of your world, your reality.

當你愛自己的時候，對你來說就能更輕易的以一種真實的觀點看待其他人。你不再被迫因為他/她所說或者所做的事情，而有時候以如此個人的方式做出冒犯或有害的事情。他們的行為和回應屬於他們自己，同時這變得更為輕易的不再以情緒化的反應去回應它。另外一個人不再需要為你靈魂的救贖而負責---而是你自己。你才是自我世界，你實相的掌權者。

You all are on this path to self-realization, and already you are touching other people with your heart-crystal: you are giving sparks of love and hope to them. I thank you for coming to Earth at this time, in this period of change and transition. I am with you and I care for you deeply. You are my brothers and sisters, and I love you.

你們全都處在這條自我明晰的道路，而且你已經在用你的心靈-水晶接觸著其他人：你在給予他們愛與希望的火花。我感謝你們此刻來到地球，在這個轉變與過渡的時期。我和你們同在，我深深的關心你們。你們都是我的兄弟姐妹，我也深愛著你們。

原文地址 http://spiritlibrary.com/pamela-kribbe/love-relationships